I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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