But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
