it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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