You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
