I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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