3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
