Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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