my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
