he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
