Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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