Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
