your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
