Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
