I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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