She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
