found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
