it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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