watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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