Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
