I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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