What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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