She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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