So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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