I wish life had little blips of pornography
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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