The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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