Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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