i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
