What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
