I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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