I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
