Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
