I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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