Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
