We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
