If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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