watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
