Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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