New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
