You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
