rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
