Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
