Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Pants are for mortals
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
