my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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