How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
