I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
