Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
