thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
