So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
