I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
