More tranny stories later!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
