I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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